God has shut a door and opened a window....

And those who think i'm crazy can kiss my....big toe!

Whatcha' think I was going to say LOL!

It's Down syndrome awareness month and I just can't find the time to do the 31 for 21 blog posts. My most important thing is spreading awareness and my boss has drained it all out of me.

Still sooo drained b/c this whole work/boss thing.

We've widdled it down to exactly what boss man needed in terms of days/hours/pay. We've all agreed to the back pay settlement. Sign, sealed and delivered to the bank. Now we wait for our checks.

Now, of corse, there is a new stress.

My life wouldn't be the same if daily there isn't *something* going on. Ughhhh.....

Here it is in black and white.

I want to go to school. I have the money to go to school. I have the money to quit working. Hubby is ok enough right now to keep a look after Brook while I go to school and Mary is all aboard in helping Dad with Brook.

Stress is........

Everyone I have told of my plan thinks i'm nutz.

Nutz!

But ya know what?! NO ONE is in my same situation. NO ONE has my shoes on. NO ONE walks this path i'm on BUT ME!!

The frowners as I call them DO NOT:

*do not have a terminally sick husband.
*do not have a 4 yr old daughter with special needs
*do not have a 16 yr old w/ ADHD and a disability of her own.
*do not have a house to pay for.
*do not have to think about the "what if's" all damn day long.
*do not have to plan their futures around burrying their husband.
*do not have to plan on how to take care of these girls if they end up not being able to care for themselves
*DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT!!!!!!

I DO. PERIOD! Period!

I just can't pull off going to school and working 5 days a week, 16 hours 3 of those days and 24 hours 2 of those days. Running a buisness is hard work. My boss needs to have it this way. I agreed b/c I want my damn money he owes me. Now would be nice.

I do not trust him anymore. Alot of things have been said in the past two months that I just can't shake out of my head. He is a liar. He is making good on this back pay but only b/c the Fed's and the IRS are making him. If it was up to him he'd jump ship and run for the hills. I just can't do it anymore.

7 yrs is long enough!

I did say I would stay and run his buisness for him. Yes I did. I do feel bad b/c I knew in the back of my head I was only doing so to insure everyone got their money and then I was outa here. I do feel bad. See i'm not a relentlus buisness woman. I work from and with my heart. My bad, I know. I just can't be THAT mean to the people who work for me. Can't do it!

So, as soon as I get paid and everyone else does too, and all the checks clear the bank, i'm leaving. I will stay and train the new person if he needs me to. I will. I have filled out the application for student aid. I have contacted the school in which I want to attened. I am getting my ducks in a row and waiting.

Waiting is hard.

God shut a door and opened a window for me. I feel this will be my last chance to go to class and do something with my life. I will not let Him down by goofing off. I won't!

And to all the frowners who think i'm nutz, I OWN A NUT CRACKER AND I WILL SHOW YOU I CAN DO IT AND I WILL!!!!!!!!!

Thank you God for helping me out. You've givin me some major challenges in my life and now I feel you've rewarded me for a job well done.

I will not let you down.